Hypothetical Interview with the Author of, “An Orgasmic Diagnosis of… REDCUM”

“REDCUM” is one of my most vulgar posts of recent memory. It’s informal with a comical perspective on the issues and feelings I felt were present in the minds of many people during this time of uncertainty and panic, including myself.

The monitor is taking a bit longer than usual to load its other half. Once the darkness is finally enervated, on pops his charming grin. He is handsome with dark skin and a big smile that lights up his square. We are video chatting through Zoom, the most common form of business meetings and interviews that take place online post-face to face chat as we navigate life under quarantine. He comments briefly on the adaptation of our society to social distancing. He is wearing a loose button-up with his chest slightly exposed, hair cut, and as the smile fades I get the sense that he would prefer the interview today to be as casual as possible. His eyes awaiting the first question, leisurely open and ready.

I draw out the introduction, reading over the formalities as he shakes his head up and down. We are here to discuss his most recent blog post entitled, “An Orgasmic Diagnosis with Interracial Flames of Gigantic Proportion,” also dubbed as “REDCUM,” by the author himself.

W: I wanted something that captured the essence of the story, something short, whimsical, and provocative.

This is his first interview, but he agrees to the restrictions of the article knowingly. My first question addresses the post’s delicate plot. I lean back in my chair as if to take some of the question’s weight off my shoulders, without pandering onto the moment’s finality a minute longer I allow the first question to leave my lips. I watch as he catches hold onto each word, feeling the gravitas of my earnest concern. I watch as it sinks from story to the depths of personal struggle. What is his relation to the narrator’s thoughts of suicide, the post’s focal point and the author’s Achilles heel?

I: How close were the words you wrote in regards to premeditated death by suicide?

W: I almost didn’t finish the post because of how close to home the subject matter felt. I had to remind myself throughout the writing of the post, “I am not this character,” the same way I separated the protagonist and his inner-thoughts. My mind works over the details like an out of sequence reel, I have the beginning and ending, but the middle is always buffering. I think the story comes from an honest response to the unknown.

He pauses to clear his throat. His mind searching for the most effective and sensitive summarization of his short story. He does not want to come off too calculated or careless.

W: I’d also like to clarify, that in no way am I making light of death by suicide or mental illness. My relation to these thoughts are fickle and far in between. I wanted to explore the pain I felt laying on my bed one evening. It is a trip through my headspace rather than an explanation, justification, or advocation of suicide. I believe this issue is wholly under-discussed, which is an injustice to our society.

I: Your character in the short story romanticizes his death —

W: No. The narrator is impulsive and feels a need to die a death of his choosing. In his mind, fate and his expiration date are predetermined, so he takes it upon himself to orchestrate his final request.

He is passionate about the accurate telling of his narrative and does not attempt to apologize for cutting me off, though he bows his head bashfully, he does not make his remorse verbal.

I: I take it from the manner in which you protect your narrator, you share a similar thought process. What was your inspiration for this story?

W: The story was born from a place of loneliness. The pandemic was having a deep effect on my morale. I felt empty. During the night when I wrote the majority of the play, I had reached out to a few of my friends to no avail. They were probably busy with their own lives and fears as people are. I felt so distant from everyone else, so I wanted to create a story about it. I wanted it to be as ridiculous as it was gut-wrenching. A lot of my heart is in the story.

I: At the end of the short nstory, your character ultimately changes his mind, he chooses to live.

W: It was an impulsive decision, my character makes an elaborate death plan without considering if he truly wants to die. I think it is easy sometimes to identify with thoughts that come into a person’s mind. I believe that ultimately, we are streams of consciousness and the thoughts that pass along our stream do not have to become— Some thoughts may feel real or closer to shore than others. I felt it was my job to honor those feelings by addressing their nature as honest to my experience as I could.

I: So the narrator never really wants to die.

W: No, my character only wants to die his way, with death being inevitable. Life is finite and though we speak of the present so intensely with much ferocity, hope in another day is truly the only sustaining force in its momentum. The character’s hope comes in the form of his childhood friend.

I: The friend who participates in the threesome with him.

W: Correct, that very same friend.

He smiles gently before continuing.

W: I deeply enjoy people, and I am also a very emotional person. I have experienced the healing element of being in company with another person, especially if that someone cares about me. When I am on the verge of a breakdown, it is essential for me to surround myself with people who will be there for me.

While tearing up he forges on.

W: I wanted to touch on thoughts of suicide as respectfully as I could as well as mental illness. Issues and topics I am somewhat familiar with, but in no way an expert on. This story is delicate…but I really want to emphasize the importance of valuing yourself through your thoughts, actions, and your friends.

The short story will be available for reading on March 25, 2020.